15 months ago I had Weight Loss Surgery, after a year of struggling to qualify I had laparoscopic Duodenal Switch and I have lost over 150 pounds after surgery (to go with the 52 before) and there are people who claim that I “took the easy way out” getting my insides rearranged….
Here is the thing though, this is not easy, and unlike some people I have had no complications. So far my WLS journey has been pretty easy compared to others but it has not been what I would call EASY overall.
What was EASY was to get to 463, it was easy to give up, and it was easy to gain weight again after each diet I was on and it was REALLY easy to gain more each time. It was easy to ignore what I ate, it was easy to not take care of myself because I had given up. It was also not easy to give up having a lot of fat admiring men compliment me daily and a lot of Fat acceptance people accuse me of being a traitor, Mind you it had been easy to be a supersize paysite model and make a decent living off of it and it WAS NOT easy to give that up for my health … Nor was it easy to KNOW that my body will look worse in my mind after losing 300 pounds then it did at 463.
It was easy to get so big I got arthritis so bad that I no longer have cartilage in my knees at all and it was hard to decide to have an extreme surgery so someday I could have another even more difficult surgery to replace my knees so I can exercise more.
Every day I have to now think of all the food I put in my mouth, I have to accept that those 3 small bites of ice cream I had as a treat may very well make me ill but I also have to accept that they are NOT the 30 huge bites I would of had in the past without even thinking.
For me maybe that is the hardest aspect of my WLS… having to think about what I eat, having to care about my health, having to be accountable to myself because for years I deadened that need to think about my health behind food.. it didn’t make sense but neither did getting so big my health was in serious jeopardy and my joints and bones began to deteriorate under my own weight.