Sometimes I feel as if I DID take the easy way ouy

I have been lucky, I have not faced that “easy way out” thing people talk about, people telling them their weight loss doesn’t count because of the surgery.  Iif anything I feel guilty at times when people tell me how amazing I have done and how impressed they are and worse how they admire me.
I know it isn’t the easy way out, I know I eat less and make better choices now and I try to be more physical these days compared to when I was so big.  But to be honest I still feel like I did cheat at times at least compared to when I was sucking so bad at losing weight…
People seem to think I was unsuccessfully dieting for decades, that I fought getting that big tooth and nail and now I somehow found amazing strength of will out of no where.
The fact is I hated diets and seldom went on them until I tried South beach at 463 pounds out of desperation to get my surgery.  I had only been on a handful of diets ever and they were so bad and I now see, unhealthy, that I would lose 20 pounds then struggle forever and fail. Actually even south beach was easy compared to that… for the first time in my life with SB I managed to lose more than 50 pounds and keep if off a little bit.
There are times I feel like I am coasting through this, I do what I am told (mostly) and I lose weight still, but then I realized I had stalled/slowed down, that lost inches yes but not enough to justify only losing 40 pounds from 10 months to 16 months out and that it is my fault.  the sad thing is I failed by not eating enough because I now mostly only eat when I am hungry and didn’t count my protein.
So now I am stuck yo-yoing from 249 to 255 and going insane and it makes me realize that now it is time to step up my game and get more and more serious as my weight loss is so damn slow compared to what I want.  It is time to put my diet on a stricter diet and stop coasting along.  It is also time to show some of that determination, strength and dedication my friends seem to think that I have.


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Filed under Accountability, changing how I think, Motivation, My Thoughts on WLS and Life, WLS

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