Why do I feel like such a failure after losing 210 pounds?

I have been stalled off and on for months and months, I will lose 10-15 pounds then gain back 5 then be stalled at that weight for a month or three and then it starts over.  I am now bouncing between 249 and 255 over and over and I just can’t get and stay below 250. 
I am 16 months out of surgery and if you add the 52 pounds I lost before with the 160 I have lost since I have lost 210 pounds, that is more than the average woman will ever weigh.  And yet I so often feel like a total failure these days because I keep screwing up and not sticking to my diet.
I KNOW I need to not eat simple carbs but over and over I give in to my god awful sweet tooth and eat stuff I know is not only bad for me but that gives me stinky and embarrassing gas. 
I KNOW I need to exercise even if all I do is leg lifts but I don’t, I am forgetful and I let my pain and physical discomfort make me put it off so that every time I build up any  strenght I lose it again. 
I KNOW I need to track my protein intake and get between 130 and 150 grams a day but it is hard and I forget and well to be honest I am lazy.
I KNOW it is my fault I am not losing and that just makes me feel like a big failure.  I should be happy I have lost what I have but the fear is not only that I won’t lose more but that I won’t be able to maintain my weight as time goes by.  I am starting to doubt I will ever get below 200 pounds so that I can get my knees replaced or that if some miracle happens and I do lose another 60 + pounds I won’t be healthy enough to recover well.
I know what I need to do and I will do it, for a while, then knowing me I will mess up again and start the entire process over and over.


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