I have been stalled between 249.8 and 256.6 for months, up and down and finally I am at 245 with no sign of it being a fluke or a one time thing and so my hubby decided I should celebrate with a little shopping. Usually I spend about $70 on Halloween stuff and this year the only thing I need is a cheap pair of 50s style cats eye sunglasses and I am set (going as a beatnik) I am also making his costume and I am not buying decorations this year so we agreed I could have half the halloween money to hit ROSS with… well actually Walmart, Ross and Target, I never made it to the thrift store I had planned on.
I got 2 hats, a pair of slip on Isotoner ballet slippers I wear as shoes and 1 shirt (also mascara) and I got horribly discouraged….
I am a Goth with very unusual tastes and I like dark colors with a burst or jewel tones as accents and for the first time I can remember I actually like many of the clothes that are in style (black and grey abound, classic lines, loose flowy tops over leggings and sweater dresses ) but even after losing 220 pounds I can barely find any of the stuff I like in my size and when I do it doesn’t look good on me. I can wear some stuff in women’s 2x (mens/unisex 1x t-shirts) but I hate tight fitting stuff so I often look at 3X and above. Ross only carries up to 3X in a rare few items and the things Walmart carries above 2X are pretty awful not to mention over priced right now.
Here is the thing, I LOVE sweater dresses, I have one dark grey one I adore and i was hoping to get another but I could not find one that looked good on me, my butt has always been a shelf and now it is a lumpy, lopsided shelf even in support garments and I will have big hips even if I was underweight. The dresses look like sausage casings and this depressed the hell out of me.
The realization that even if I lose another 80 pounds I won’t look good in most sweater dresses or a lot of the clothing i like is honestly a tad depressing. I have spent decades wearing long flowing skirts and I am sick of them mostly, I like my leggings and long tops but all of the long nightshirts turned dresses need taking in since they start at a loose 4X and go to 6X… i want some soft over sized but structured sweaters but right now the only ones I can find that would fit loose are mens and they are not what I am looking for.
Shopping for clothing with a limited income and an “oddly” shaped large figure is a quick way to kill the excitement of breaking a stall weight wise. I have finally started to develop a style not based on the sheer necessity of being able to find anything that fits and is easy and cheap to make and now I feel as if I will never look good in the clothing I would prefer.
I know I should not let this get to me but I see these amazing clothes on the street and for the first time I want what other people are wearing (adapted to my darker tastes) and I realize most of it will Never look good on me.
In case you wonder this is what I like fashion wise http://pinterest.com/trinaxxl/fashion-i-want-for-my-style/