Category Archives: Food

They forced me… no really, no I mean…sigh

Today I went to Burger King to get a large unsweetened Ice tea with lite lemonade and ordered a “Tiny brownie sundae, do you still have those little kids size brownie sundaes”  After being tols yes I got to the window and was given a HUGE ASS sundae and charged $2.50.  I asked about the little sundae they had had the week before and they acted like I was crazy (by the way they had it until 2-29)
So there I am bitching after I paid for this monster and drove away (cause I am too big a wuss to not take it) and I say to Alex well I will just eat the same amount as I think the little sundae would have (which really was MAYBE a bite and a half of brownie and a bit of ice cream) and mad at them the entire time I ate way way too much.
I probably only ate a 1/6th of the entire thing, probably actually 2 times the amount I had thought I was getting and since it was ice cream I am SICK SICK SICK
and for a moment as I was being sick yet again I thought FUCK BURGER KING THOSE FUCKING FUCKS.
The next thought was shut up T’Rina, no one told you to pay for it when they did not give you what you wanted,
No one told you to order it in the first place, even the TEENY TINY little sundae would of upset your stomach
No one forced me, no one has ever forced me to eat or ever had to.
I did it to myself, I always have and if I dont get my head on strait I always will be eating the foods that are not good for me and that now make me sick.
I need to be in control.
I need to be the boss
and I need to take responsibility


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Filed under Accountability, changing how I think, confession, Food

Quinoa crab (or salmon) loaf

This is so easy to make I made a double version with sarimi
(crab or salmon flavored fish blend) I used both kinds but this recipe is for the bread pan sized loaf


1 cup of pre made quinoa
1 package of crab (10-12 oz) shredded you can also used canned salmon
4 eggs beaten
2 oz milk
4-5 oz shredded cheese (any kind)
1/2 to 3/4 cup Steamed veggies (I like diced broccoli and cauliflower)
Spices (I use lemon pepper and Lawrys)

Mix all of the ingredience in a large bowl making sure the meat is well mixed in
Press the mixture into a well oiled loaf pan and bake at 350*f for 35 mins.  Check doneness by sliding a knife into the center to see if it comes back clean.  Add time if need be.

Substitutions … instead of shredded seafood try using 12oz of very finely shredded stewed chicken meat

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I am so lucky with my husband and food

I was reading about how people sometimes get so little support from their family when it comes to food and it reminds me how very lucky I am, my husband is 6’3 and 215 pounds and he would like to be 190-200 and get rid of his belly for his own sake (he knows I dont care and just want him to be healthy)  He is totally willing to eat variations on my food.
I often cook sauces that are very meaty and eat them in a small bowl with cheese on them and then serve him a serving of the sauce over WW noodles or Brown rice (he has grown to prefer it) when he craves pizza we buy a $2 take and bake french bread pizza that is one large serving and he doesn’t get mad if I nibble a taste of the topping, he doesn’t buy a Large and expect it to be around for him to nibble on for 2 days.
For breakfast I will make him a Strata (like a quiche mixed with bread pudding… eggs and filling over a torn up piece of bread) and make me a crustless quiche and it is fine.  once every few months I make up a big potato based casserole, tons of eggs and cheese and meat then freeze it in small single servings I use to make breakfast burritos with using WW shells.  We have a big freezer so I will make  up meals ahead of time…his are over pasta or rice and mine are the sauce or meat part of the meal in a smaller container.
The only one thing I cook that he balks at is soup, he dislikes the texture but doesn’t mind when I make a huge pot, give half to mom and grandma and freeze the he doesn’t even mind when I take out some of the soup, put in a ton of noodles or rice, cheese it up like a casserole and bake it then serve it to him.
Also he has pretty much given up store bought ice cream and enjoys my protein ice cream, we dont buy cookies since I will get into them but I do get him rolls of cookie dough once in a while and slice them up, personally i think it is gross and he loves it so it works.  We also freeze up bagels and english muffins and he eats those about once a week on the weekend.
He use to drink TONS of Sobe and some soda and now he will have a liter of pop maybe 2 times a month at the game we play and doesn’t drink Sobe, he is as likely to make a big glass of tea and put in a sugar cube or two which is still next to nothing compared to soda.

I pack his lunch and it is pretty darn healthy now, when we met this was his average lunch:
a store bought sandwich on cheap and not very good bread
a snack baggy of cheeze-its,
a 20 oz sobe (ave 280+ cals of sugar)
a 16 oz sugary Strawberry milk
2 yoplait yougurts
and THREE big slices of bread just to munch on

this is an average lunch now:
a homemade sandwich usually on Whole grain bread (once in a while Dill or Brown but not often) Lean sandwich meat and cheese with some salad dressing (sometimes tuna or chicken salad)..I have slacked about putting spinach on it so have to buy some
a 22 oz bottle of 2% milk (this is his milk for the day) that he flavors with SF syrup
2 yoplaits
and either a fruit like a sliced apple or a veg like a sliced tomato
and Occasionally a treat like a chunk of cookie dough, or some of my brown rice pudding with fruit and nuts and eggs
and if I have it a chunk or stick of cheese

In the last year Alex has lost 7 pounds without trying BTW

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Vinegar fights sugar cravings. Making refrigerator pickles

My sugar cravings are through the roof…today in the store I wanted a tiny bit of spice gum drops from the bulk section and while I resisted them it nearly brought me to tears.  I ended up eating 2.5 oz of a 70% dark chocolate bar and have spent the entire evening wanting to eat the last oz of it.  It feels as if I am quite literally fighting a battle with my body every minute of the day and night.
What little bit of candy is left is getting taken out of the house tomorrow (cinnamon and butterscotch disks) and I am not buying more chocolate and when Alex wants some I am, for the next month or so, going to ask that he has it when I’m asleep or he is at work.
I am also cutting way back on milk while increasing my protein intake.  I have gotten in the habit again of drinking a good 35+ oz of milk a day and I plan to reduce that to 18 oz a day.  Even though milk is good for me it is full of carbs and I can add more calcium to my diet.  Milk and cheese are different in the rate you absorb the carbs and in my case in how my guts react.  I need to make as many changes as I can right now.
So I have been rereading up on natural things to help stabilized blood sugar and stop sugar cravings.  I am going back to taking Omega 3-6-9 fatty acid pills and some other things like picolate and zinc which are suppose to help with blood sugar levels and insulin uptake (I am insulin resistant) all of which should slow down the worse of the physical part of these cravings.
Another thing I read was how vinegar can help fight sugar craving by helping to stabilized the Ph balance and acidity in your body which makes it easier for your body to process sugars and create the right amounts of insulin especially after meals.
Unlike my grandma I have never been good at the whole drinking vinegar thing so I am making refrigerator pickles and other marinaded foods tonight.
Refridgerator pickles are super easy…the most basic ones are sliced cucumbers in vinegar with a little spice and can get quite involved and diverse after that.  I had made a large batch this summer using armeanian named cucumbers, shredded carrots and sliced onions in a mix of basalmic vinegar and white vinegar and a few tbs of sugar.
The batch I made today are made from 3 peeled regular cucumbers and 2 oz of low sugar sweet red pepper sauce, 6 tsp sugar and some splenda.   It will take a week for them to be ready and then they should be great.
I also marinaded some thinly sliced Roma tomatoes and Maui sweet onion.  I am also concidering doing up a few cans of whole tender green beans.
I do know I don’t feel so frantic for sweets after eating about 3-4 oz of this summers pickles so who knows it might help.

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Filed under Accountability, Food, obsessions, protein, Recipes

There is something so broken in my head

I am not doing good, why the fuck am I making goodies???
I am a bonafide sugar addict, something in my brain and body chemistry is seriously messed up and I can’t seem to deal with simple sugars correctly, with me it is an all or nothing proposition and yet I am making holiday goodies… FUCK…
I know people who can make them and have a single bite and be fine, I know other Weight Loss Surgery people who can go through the holidays and make no goodies what so ever and avoid those of other people and here I am sick to my guts from nibbling carbs and I have been off and on for days and yet here I am thinking of how I will make the next batch, and wishing my husband was here to lock them in the garage.  Yeah that’s right, I dont have a key to my own garage and I make him lock goodies up in it and when we buy chocolate it goes in his pack and I ask for a piece because the fact is if I have the bar sitting there I will eat it all even if it is making me ill.

I hate my weakness and I need to conquer it ASAP but I just keep thinking OH I will wait til after christmas… this is sick thinking, this is addict thinking and the sad thing???

I will end up waiting and I will end up sick and hating myself and then I will go through hell in January trying to get off the sweets and then Valentine’s day will come and we will start all over again.  I KNOW I need to stop right now, I know I should get in my car and drive all this stuff over to my grandma’s and leave it there but I just wont.  What I will do is finish all the candy making tonight and first thing tomorrow when Alex walks through the door it all goes back in the garage and after Christmas day the house gets stripped of sweets.

I also know I need counseling again.  I been out of counseling for a little bit cause I really need to find a addiction councilor who understands eating disorders or eating disorder councilor who doesn’t just deal with anorexia or bulimia. OA is not an option I dont do good in groups though as soon as January comes around I will be seeing about the local WLS support groups and seeing if anyone there or in my surgeons office can suggest someone who will take my insurance.

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Filed under Accountability, Addiction, fears, Food, obsessions

Squashy “lasagna” Recipe

I made this last night and made a HUGE batch so that we would have leftovers so I cut my batch down by half but it is still a pretty big batch so size it how you want.


Meat Sauce*

*2 pounds lean hamburger (though I have been known to use any ground meat I have and drain it well and to use more)

*2 medium onions

*1 large red or green pepper

*3 cloves of garlic (or a tbs of minced)

*2 cans (14oz) Italian Style diced tomatoes

*1 large (28oz) can of tomato sauce (NSA or it should have no more than 8g of carbs per .5 cup)Seasoning to taste)

*Seasonings to taste

1 medium Spaghetti Squash

2 medium sized Zucchini

1 cup of 2% cottage cheese (small curd works best)

1 cup Ricotta cheese

3 eggs

8oz shredded Italian cheese blend (I used Tillamook 6 cheese blend)



(2 hrs or more ahead) Place the ground meat in a large baking dish with the chopped up onions, peppers and garlic, Bake until the meat is finished cooking and then drain grease.  Place the meat in a medium sized crock pot with the  tomatoes and the tomato sauce (you can use spaghetti sauce but most is way too sweet for my taste)  Season to taste and cook on high for at least 2 hours.

Use a very sharp knife and put a few small holes in your Spaghetti squash by twisting it a little (this is to vent steam) place the squash on a plate and microwave for between 8 and 10 mins til the outside is soft then allow to sit for at least 5 mins in the microwave to finish steaming. (I do this about  an hour ahead of time while I am grating the Zucchini and then put the hot squash in the fridge to cool before opening and deseeding it.)  When it cools a enough to touch easily use a sharp knife to open around it and carefully scoop out the seeds then using a fork gently shred out the pulp which should be in spaghetti like strands.

While the Spaghetti squash is in the microwave finely grate the two Zucchini then toss it with some salt, maybe 1/2 teaspoon per medium zucchini and let drain in a colander for about 1/2 hour, pressing on it and stir gently a couple of times. If you’re worried about it being too salty, it seems to me that the salt kind of drains away with the water.  Afterwards roll it up in a a few thick paper towels and gently press it, which also removes some of the salt)

Pre-heat the oven to 375*

In a small food processor mix half the cottage cheese and the eggs and blend, pour into a bowl with the rest of the cottage cheese and the ricotta and mix well.  Pour half of this mix in the oiled pan (I use a 9×11 but if you want it thick use a smaller pan) with the drained Zucchini and mix well then spread over the bottom of the pan.  Spread on a layer of Meat Sauce and then in a bowl mix the Spaghetti squash you have pulped with the rest of the cheese/egg mix and layer it on top of the sauce.  Now layer in the rest of the sauce and sprinkle with cheese.

Bake for at least 35 mins (longer if you make this thick).  Turn off oven and allow the mixture to sit for another 10-15 mins

Dish up like Lasagna.

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Step #1 (Health and Saving $) freezing food

We bought a used upright freezer for $100 and I am learning what I can freeze and the best way to freeze stuff.   We are buying as fresh produce as we can (and getting some for free) and I am figuring out ways to save it.  Also since I had my WLS I need a lot protein and we have had some good luck getting shredded cheese and even meat on discount but never really been able to take advantage of the sales as much as we would like since we had no place to store/freeze stuff.

I use this site as my freezing/storage bible STAY TASTY

Some of my experiments right now are with vegetables:

My current experiment is Acorn squash, you can freeze it once you cook it, either in a mash or as cubes… I like it mashed and then mixed with an egg, a little milk and shredded Italian cheese (I have to get protein as much as I can) and then baked like a sweet potato casserole (minus all the sugar, though I figure if I want to make it sweet I can add a tbs of Torani Brown Sugar and Cinnamon SF syrup to it) it is also great for thickening soups in place of potatoes.  This works for other winter squashes as well actually.

I am also making my own roasted tomato sauce and freezing it in muffin tins then putting it in baggies (I use snack and sandwich baggies then put them inside a thick freezer bag and that way I can reuse the thicker bags)I also made a large curry with coconut milk and a little of my pepper jelly and some pesto with fresh basil we were given. Every time I make a sauce now I make extra and freeze it so I can have some in the future, I know SAD will hit this winter and I wont feel as much like cooking so I am getting ahead.

I am also using muffin tins to freeze cold brew (strong) extra coffee with a little milk so I can use it for protein drinks in the morning and since I am trying to remember to take a small container of cottage cheese with fruit to the coffee shop with me (I have containers with ice pack lids).   I bought some cans of light fruit – peaches, apricots and Mandarin oranges in pear juice and crushed pineapple – and mixed them together after dicing the bigger stuff up and then froze them in muffin tins, this way I take one of my cottage cheese cups and a small cup with frozen fruit that usually thaws by the time I get ready to eat it.  the 4 cans gave me 10 portions and this way I wont be as likely to snack on the fruit at other times and they are portion controlled.

I am trying to get a grip on the food we eat, less canned, less waste and less chemicals and certainly less cost.


ALSO … This extra idea involves the freezer and the fact that we are trying to eat healthier and more veggies but we live in an apartment and can’t compost here…on the other hand my mom has a house, a garden and a compost pile and there I am with a big ass freezer and at least one 2 gallon bucket with lid.  Solution! I am freezer composting – well saving stuff in the bucket for composting then sending the stuff to mom when it is full, she can toss it frozen into the compost.

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Filed under Food, taking steps to improve things

Oven roasted tomatoes

This is the time of year most people have more tomatoes than they know what to do with and I was given half a shopping bag full of Beefsteak tomatoes so I am making roasted beefsteak tomatoes (you can use any medium or larger tomatoes)

Here is how you do it:

put olive oil and diced/chopped garlic in the bottom of roasting pans
cut tomatoes into thick (1-1.5 inch) slices and layer on top of garlic (you can add large wedges of sweet onions and whole garlic cloves as well)
lightly cover in an oil and vinegar dressing
(I mixed olive oil, Balsamic vinegar, spices, basil, garlic and a little sugar together)
Bake on 300-325* for 2-3 hours, checking every 30 mins after an hour
turn off heat and open oven door when they are done, they will have reduced their thickness and the juices in the pan have thickened to a serious glaze
allow to sit on rack for 30 mins and then use or freeze, you can also store them in the refrigerator up to 2 weeks by putting them in a jar and covering them with Olive oil, then after they are gone you can use the oil in cooking.

Use them in salads, dice up in pastas and cook in soups … or slice them thin and nibble them

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Idea for saving fruit for Smoothies

It is harvest season and fruit is really cheap now and I want to freeze some to use for smoothies later in the year.  I have been making apple/peach butter by cooking them down in a crockpot after pureeing them and I realized they not only have a stronger taste but they are digested better by my altered system.
So when I got to my very over ripe pears I added a little pineapple juice and heated them up until they got soft enough to use my hand blender on.  I don’t intend to make pear butter out of these but after they cook down a while I will cool them off and put them in ice trays and freeze them.  This way when I add them to a smoothie they will be easier to digest and an exact amount.  I think I will do the same with peaches and strawberries.
I am desperately trying to give up simple carbs and one suggestion I found said to be sure to still get complex carbs but with a duodenal switch it’s not easy as they give me gas.  I can’t eat bread or pasta or rice without misery and it doesnt take too many raw fruits and vegetables to set me off. Thankfully I can eat a little bit more in the way of cooked vegetables and fruit.
But then simple carbs give me gas also and I still eat those despite the fact they effect my health as well as mess with my moods and slow my weight loss way down, so that excuse won’t work.
So this next month I will be making up fruit puree to freeze.

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Amazing curry chicken salad using rotisserie chicken and the 4 bean salad – Recipe

This uses either Deli baked (or BBQ) chicken or a rotisserie chicken from the store and the Super Simple 4 Bean Salad I posted below this one to make a great salad

Curry Chicken Salad


2 thighs and 2 breasts of a Deli chicken (skinned)

1/2 a cup of miracle whip light

2 tbs of honey mustard dressing (or just honey mustard)

1 tsp curry powder

1 cup of the 4 Bean Salad OR 1/2 a cup of garbanzo beans and 1/2 a cup of steamed shelled Edamame (soybeans)

1/3 cup chopped peanuts (or cashews)


Skin the chicken and de-bone it then dice it into small chunks

mix in the salad dressing and the honey mustard with the curry powder and stir well

in a large bowl add the chicken, the beans and the nuts then top with the dressing mix and stir well.


Enjoy as a sandwich filling or by itself… I like to eat it on rice crisps and with a side dish of sauteed Zucchini

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DS WLS healthy Swai (fish) recipe


I had a friend once who made chicken dish that was so rich it was a heart attack on a plate and I have not been able to bake with mayo on top of food without thinking of it since then.  They took a can of mushroom soup and a half cup of mayo and whisked the mixture together with white bread crumbs then spooned the crumbs on the chicken and then topped it with and half a stick of melted butter ….no spices cause well they would brag about being from the mid-west and somehow in their minds that meant no spice.

There was no way I would make that recipe but since this one has a bit of Miracle Whip it makes me think of it for some reason… mind you this is a much better version.

Swai with Almond Breading


3 medium sized Swai Filets (or two large ones)

2 tablespoons butter melted

1 tablespoon olive oil

teaspoon diced garlic

1-2 tablespoons Miracle whip (or any salad dressing or mayo but MW has the least amount of calories actually)

1/3 cup Almond flour or meal (ground up almonds)

1/4 cup whole wheat bread crumbs

1/4 cup slivered almond lightly crushed

Lemon pepper



Melt the butter with the diced garlic and mix in the olive oil and miracle whip

Place the thawed fish in a oiled baking dish and lightly cover with the butter mixture

mix together the bread crumbs, almond meal and slivered almonds with lemon pepper and spoon over the mix

Place pan in a 350* and bake for 20 mins (more depending on the thickness of the fish)


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Seafood Quiche (high protein WLS friendly Recipe)

Seafood Quiche

6 oz Imitation Crab Meat
3 oz salad shrimp
½  cup cooked quinoa
1/3 of a large sweet onion (about ½ sliced)
1 medium sized zucchini
4 eggs
½ cup milk
2/3 cup Ricotta
1 cups shredded cheese
Spice to taste

Thinly slice the zucchini and onion and place in a microwave bowl with a little bit of water and spice mix and microwave for 3 mins to soften it up.
Slice up the crab and spread it on the bottom of and oiled 8 or 9 inch square cake pan with the shrimp, the quinoa, the shredded cheese and the microwaved vegetables.
In a large bowl add the eggs, ricotta and milk and whisk til they are smooth and lightly frothy (I use the whisk on my hand blender)
Pour the egg mixture over the other ingredients and stir them up til they are pretty evenly dispersed into the egg mix.
Bake in a 350* oven for 30 mins and check for doneness by sticking a knife in the quiche and seeing if it comes out clean, cook longer if needed.

You could also bake these is ramekins or cupcake tins for smaller individual servings.

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