Category Archives: random daily stuff

Up we go

A lot of times we do things we don’t think we can do when we stop thinking about it at all.  Since my knee surgery I haven’t walked up steps and was planning to start with just a few at the Y.  Today I had to go to St. Lukes lab for my annual wls blood work…as we were headed out we got to the top of a flight of stairs, I looked at mom…”Did we come in this way?”
“Yes”
I had been thinking of coffee and chatting and hadn’t noticed I breezed up a flight of stairs, going down as always took a little thought but we walked to the parking lot again and headed out.
Now I know I can walk up stairs…lol

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Filed under exercise, health, knee replacement, positive thought, random daily stuff

Ooooffff sore tushy

Went out while Alex was asleep and broke up some of the ice in the driveway and in the gutter that was blocked up so it would drain. I did the gutter from my place where the drain is over 2 houses where my grandma lives to get the little gutter lakes that had built up to drain.  Man could I feel it in my abbs.
A couple of years ago it would never have occurred to me to even try to get out a 6 pound ice breaker “shovel” and tear through a lot of ice and snow for 40 minutes in the cold
I decided to do it after I fell on my my ass while walking across the frozen driveway to the trash can. It wasn’t a bad fall, almost like in slow motion where you just sort of slip into a sitting position except kind of BUMP OOUUUFFFFF instead of OWE!!!!!
Well let’s say for the first time in a couple of years I miss all that junk in my trunk I use to have, my booty pillow butt would have been awfully handy for a padded landing.  One thing they don’t tell you when you lose a huge amount of weight after being really really big for so long is how much more it hurts to bump against things when you can feel your bones…lol
Oh well if a lightly bruised slightly boney ass is the worse of my problems today I guess I am doing pretty damn good.

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Filed under pain, positive thought, random daily stuff

walking in the snow (crosspost)

Due to some missed connections and the fact that I left my coat and phone and scarf and gloves in the car which Alex had, I walked from Michael’s on Franklin to Maverick’s at the top of the hill on Franklin and Maple Grove while wearing a sweater, shirt, pants and slippers
In the dark
In the snow
In 22* windy weather
The day after I over did it to the point of hurting for over 24 hours
Let’s just say that I am stupid and leave it at that for why.
,,
An hour later I am still cold, my ears are trying to kill me from the inside, my feet are just starting to feel something and my knees are aching again

Let me point this out…I made it, it wasn’t that far but it was up hill, it was cold and i made it.
There was a time I could not have walked to the end of the parking lot after shopping but now I know if need be I can do that kind of walk.

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I should be writing about Splenda poisoning

I quit sugar 16 days ago and like a total fuck up increased my splenda intake so much that I am now very sick, for me the symptoms are like having the flu while in the middle of bad PMS.
I should be writing to tell how horrible it is and what I am doing to alleviate the symptoms but one of the symptoms is my mind is so distracted and another is my fingers are so swollen and painful it hurts to type.
So the story will be put on hold and this may have to count as my Nov blog challenge post of the day.

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Filed under Addiction, Arthritis and health issues, health, pain, random daily stuff, Random Thoughts, spoonie

I spent WHAT on junk food last month??

I am hoping we will see a major ($120-$170) a month reduction in what we spend by just my stopping eating ALL simple carbs and 85% of coffee (which I only drank while out)
My purchases of just to go (gas station) coffee was over $75 a month and I drink cheap stuff (drip coffee and milk) and though I still go to coffee as a social thing we dont buy sweets while there so that cuts the bill by $2-$4 a trip (2 or 3X a week)

I had gotten so that on average I was spending maybe $20+ a week on junk food which considering I have had Weight loss surgery and my guts dont do well with sugar is actually a lot. I dont keep Alex from eating sweets but before if I wanted a donut I got one for him as well, if I wanted sweets we split it and he doesn’t have my sweet tooth so now he doesnt eat it as much and not around me just to be nice.
I have bitched that the amount of protein I have to eat is so pricey but it is amazing realizing that I was eating over $100 a month in just junk food.

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Filed under Accountability, Addiction, confession, money, random daily stuff

SIGH..I dont miss my old body but I sure do miss my old clothes

Tonight I went through my remaining clothes to find out what still fit (even if it is baggy but not falling off) and to find out what could be altered (shirts into dresses and material from dresses and skirts to be used in other outfits) and sorted out my sweaters into a drawer…without the stuff to be taken apart and sewn into about 6 items I now have 2 drawers of clothes (one is all sweaters) and two small drawers of under and night things as well as half a dozen items in my closet, mostly all second hand black dress shirts and my wedding dress.

As I sorted stuff I loaded up an entire bin with all my heavy velvet dresses that have been as altered as they can be and stuck it in the back of my nearly empty closet so that I can make a quilt out of the material someday.
I threw away the last of my thin velvety dresses (I use to have 7 of them, now the last two were not even worth saving the material as they were 15 yrs old and I hated doing it but they had been altered within an inch of their lives) and gathered up the few really big things I have still worth donating in that they have not been altered to death and boxed them up. I have already donated or given bags upon bags of clothing to charity and friends so there is only one liquor box full of stuff

I am thrilled that I have lost so much and that I wear a size Lg-2x instead of a 4-6X but I had been a 4-5X for over 12 years (a few 6X items fit in the last year before surgery) and I had spent a lot of that time accumulating clothes.  3 years ago I had an entire walk in closet full to over flowing with clothing including some great Gothic gowns and outfits and a 6 drawer dresser packed to the brim with clothing and a large suitcase full of seasonal stuff.
When Alex moved in I had started to lose weight and already had given a 13 gallon garbage bag of clothing away and put some of my stuff away to make room for his clothing, it was hard to find a handful of hangers for his few hanging items and yet now the floor of the closet is full of empty hangers and he has almost as many hanging clothes as do.
I am just slightly frustrated, I am still large enough (mostly 1-2X) that finding decent used clothing is pretty hard and even new things are often not in my size, the really large stuff like JMS sells out of 1-2X pretty fast and this year most of it sucks and the smaller things only go to 1x  lot of the time and are also no where near my style.  I am Goth and I love dark rich colors, black and grey and nice sensuous materials.  I used to wear full length skirts because I had no choice and now if they re not super light weight I cant stand them, my style has changed to what I always wanted it to be but now I dont have money or access to the clothing I want.

Oh well I could be bitching because nothing fits me at a size 7X so I will stop whining and start figuring out how to make the most of what I have.

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Filed under Altering Clothing, Clothes, Fashion After WLS, My Thoughts on WLS and Life, Plus-Size Clothing, random daily stuff, Random Thoughts, the past

If I keep taking scale photos I need to paint my toenails

I am thinking purple polish for now, lets hope I get to change that color a lot for many pics with my feet and ever smaller numbers

 

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Filed under Photos, random daily stuff, scales, tracking, weigh ins

I know I should not let get me down….

I have been stalled between 249.8 and 256.6 for months, up and down and finally I am at 245 with no sign of it being a fluke or a one time thing and so my hubby decided I should celebrate with a little shopping.  Usually I spend about $70 on Halloween stuff and this year the only thing I need is a cheap pair of 50s style cats eye sunglasses and I am set (going as a beatnik) I am also making his costume and I am not buying decorations this year so we agreed I could have half the halloween money to hit ROSS with… well actually Walmart, Ross and Target, I never made it to the thrift store I had planned on.
I got 2 hats, a pair of slip on Isotoner ballet slippers I wear as shoes and 1 shirt (also mascara) and I got horribly discouraged….
I am a Goth with very unusual tastes and I like dark colors with a burst or jewel tones as accents and for the first time I can remember I actually like many of the clothes that are in style (black and grey abound, classic lines, loose flowy tops over leggings and sweater dresses ) but even after losing 220 pounds I can barely find any of the stuff I like in my size and when I do it doesn’t look good on me. I can wear some stuff in women’s 2x (mens/unisex 1x t-shirts) but I hate tight fitting stuff so I often look at 3X and above.  Ross only carries up to 3X in a rare few items and the things Walmart carries above 2X are pretty awful not to mention over priced right now.
Here is the thing, I LOVE sweater dresses, I have one dark grey one I adore and i was hoping to get another but I could not find one that looked good on me, my butt has always been a shelf and now it is a lumpy, lopsided shelf even in support garments and I will have big hips even if I was underweight.  The dresses look like sausage casings and this depressed the hell out of me.
The realization that even if I lose another 80 pounds I won’t look good in most sweater dresses or a lot of the clothing i like is honestly a tad depressing.  I have spent decades wearing long flowing skirts and I am sick of them mostly, I like my leggings and long tops but all of the long nightshirts turned dresses need taking in since they start at a loose 4X and go to 6X… i want some soft over sized but structured sweaters but right now the only ones I can find that would fit loose are mens and they are not what I am looking for.
Shopping for clothing with a limited income and an “oddly” shaped large figure is a quick way to kill the excitement of breaking a stall weight wise. I have finally started to develop a style not based on the sheer necessity of being able to find anything that fits and is easy and cheap to make and now I feel as if I will never look good in the clothing I would prefer.

I know I should not let this get to me but I see these amazing clothes on the street and for the first time I want what other people are wearing (adapted to my darker tastes) and I realize most of it will Never look good on me.

In case you wonder this is what I like fashion wise http://pinterest.com/trinaxxl/fashion-i-want-for-my-style/

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Filed under Clothes, Fashion After WLS, Plus-Size Clothing, random daily stuff

visicous cycle

I ache, general body and joint aches and a weird itch near my knee that comes and goes, and I am tired.


This is an amazingly annoying catch22, I can’t sleep because I am stiff and sore mostly due to the changes of up to 40* in temp a day and sleep is the one thing most likely to help me feel better so not getting it for more than a handful of minutes at a time is stressing me out and that also keeps me from sleeping. Being tired and sore is one of the worse promoters of eating too much carby sweet crap cause my body is looking for a quick fix and eating crappy foods tends to lead to me not getting protein and drinking caffeine cause I am tired leads to dehydration and not sleeping well…. it is a visicous cycle and it is time to get off of it.
I am forcing myself to not eat a lot of sweet carbs and to eat protein, both in liquid form but more to the point in solid food. I am going to try to increase my exercise and see if it helps and I am hoping when the temps drop in the next few days difference in temps is closer to 20* I will not be aching so much.
Anyway wish me luck.

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Filed under Arthritis and health issues, Insomnia, pain, random daily stuff

Then Change Something

I realize it really is finally time to shake things up, time to rethink how things are going and try to get them going more the way I want and in a way that will make me a better/happier person.


It is time to evaluate the things and people who annoy me, take me for granted or are to my detriment and decide which will need to be removed or avoided
It is also time to strengthen ties with people who are helpful, supportive, loving, as giving to me as I am to them and who knowing/being involved with is a mutual benefit and makes my life somehow better not more annoying.
Finally it is time to remove things from my life causing me strife and make the other things work better.
I can not go on the way I have been I am responsible for my happiness and my health and those people and things that effect it badly need to be removed from my life.

There will be no scenes, no drama, no fights, just subtle shifts and changes, but subtle can make a big difference, probably not in the world of other people’s lives but in mine anyway and to be honest that is what I care about right now.

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Filed under changing how I think, Motivation, random daily stuff

As my body and my appearence changes I need to remember this….

 

 

I feel I look a lot older as I lose weight and I worry sometimes how my husband will feel as i lose more weight and my body sags more and then I realize two things, one he cares more bout me and my health then my appearance and that it does not matter what others think of how I look.

You do not ‘owe’ prettiness to anyone. You do not exist to decorate someone else’s world. Dressing up and doing make up should be like making art, an expression of yourself at that moment in time, for you and no one else, you should not feel that you HAVE to do it or that you have to look or dress a certain way.

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Filed under My Thoughts on WLS and Life, random daily stuff

A question about physical sensitivity after massive weight loss (FEEDBACK PLEASE!!)

Has anyone else become overly sensitive to touch?  I notice that since I started losing weight but really since after my surgery I have gotten to the point where I dont like being hugged by anyone but Alex and even with my Husband I am super sensitive to touch. This has become a real issue since my good friends are huggers and even though I have never been much of a hugger I now dread being hugged, I started to think it was emotional but can find no cause for it but I do notice it just feels to intense these days, uncomfortably so, even having my shoulders rubbed makes me very uncomfortable.  It is getting to the point where the thought of it makes me feel squeamish.
When I cook I have to wash my hands over and over if they get sticky or oily even if they will do so again right away because the feel of it drives me nuts. I notice more these days how my clothes feel on my skin and I now hate to wear anything stiff or rough or heavy (part of why I no longer wear my long skirts even though I still like them is I can’t stand the feel of them brushing my ankles) and often my scalp feels weird, not itchy just noticeable I guess.
A friend of mine who lost a lot of weight after being sick told me that he had thought it was the illness that made everything so sensitive but he now wonders if it was losing nearly 100 pounds.

So now I wonder is this sensitivity some kind of mental thing related to the weight loss or is it physical? Am I the only one who feels things MORE physically?

Feedback would be GREAT

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Filed under random daily stuff