My hubby isn’t very big (maybe 30 pounds more than need be) but he would be pretty happy staying home most weekends playing video games and D&D, not because he hates exercise (he is on his feet all day) but because they are his favorite things.
I went from 463 to 195 and I am in between knee replacements and I have made it clear to him I intend to be active, I intend to see and do stuff I never have or haven’t in decades and I want him beside me. So he goes along and he enjoys it then I give him his game time…it is a 2 way st, I get bored with the games at time but we talk about them and he has no real interest in food as long as he doesn’t starve and gets a treat once in a while but he listens when I discuss health stuff.
I am so lucky, many relationships shatter to dust when one partner has surgery and loses, mutual insecurities, loss of an eating partner, the WLS person becoming obsessed with all aspects of weight loss and health and not giving time to their partner’s interests even financial issues and sometimes sadly complications with the WLS person’s health can drive people apart.
I was lucky, we started dating a month before my surgery, he had seen me 6 months earlier at my highest weight and by the time we started dating I had lost nearly 50pounds and had become very serious about losing weight.
He met me when I was already very crippled with arthritis and I am 16 yrs his senior. I laid it on the line, how my surgery would change my body, how I would have to eat and my eventual goal to have my knees replaced as well as the fact that long term damage meant I would most likely never be as healthy as many people my age.
He told me he did not care and drove me to my surgery, that was 3years and 2 months ago…8 weeks ago he took me to the same hospital and waited while they replaced my right knee. In 45 days he will take me there again and be beside me as I recover for a third time he will hold me when I cry, he will worry and he will do everything he can to make it better.
And for that I am lucky and more determined to become and remain healthy than ever before.
One of our engagement pictures a year after surgery and the same dress near our first anniversary last year.
These are my pre surgery physical therapy goals between now and April 16th
Days til surgery #1
Straight Leg Raises (100 a day goal)
SCENARIO: What if you were in an accident tonight and woke up Monday with total Amnesia, unable to remember a thing about yourself and your friends. Your family takes you home, shows you around and eventually you access your computer and find that Facebook is still signed on.
NOW ASK YOURSELF THIS: If you read your own timeline, everything you have ever posted, every meme you reposted, every comment you made, every rant you have put on your own wall…would you like the person whose wall it is? Would you be proud of the person you were?
ALSO ASK YOURSELF THIS: If you then read your news feed, the things your friends and acquaintances post every day but that you have no memory of would they be the people you would choose to know if you didn’t already know them?
Now think of your on line presence everywhere, how do you appear on fetlife, Tumblr, Twitter or your blogs? Are you someone you would choose as a friend if you did not know yourself?
There are many pet peeves I have about personal things to do with weight loss, gas, lack of food choices, price of things, trying to find clothing that are affordable but also fit my unusual body shape and having to take food I can eat to every event we go to but really they are personal and sort of petty.
What I really I Hate though is that there is sometimes such a competitiveness between WLS people about the “BEST” surgery.
And while Duodenal Switch is best for ME and my situation, for someone else it might be too extreme or too invasive, for someone else RnY or VSG or the Band might be perfect where I would not have prospered on it. It saddens me when I see people feeling bad also because their loss is different or slower or that they can not eat the same foods as others can and being made to regret their choice.Another peeve is the “Nothing is ever wrong” thing I sometimes see, or the “If you have problems it is all your fault” thing. There seems to be a certain level of denial in some groups, a “Never complain” mentality.
We need to support each other, give advice if asked for and not shaming, we have been shamed enough in our lives.
No ones surgery is exactly like someone else’s… By the same token my DS is not someone else’s, I can barely eat fiber at all without problems but other people can. Some people can eat mass amounts of fat on the DS and I cant as easily, nor do I want to and some people have pushed the idea that I must. No I MUST do what is right for me actually which in m case is moderate fat, low fiber, no sugar and high high protein but that is ME and my version of this surgery.
So what? That doesn’t make me wrong or a failure, it makes my body different.SUPPORT is everything for us, many of us spent decades feeling that we had no support and that we made the wrong choices in life, it is time to offer support and information not shame and competition.
There is wonderful support out there, you just have to be determined, willing to choose who you will and will not listen to but most of all YOU must be as supportive as you WISH others were regardless of how supportive they are.
There has been on going debate about what my dad would want after his death…I have no input in to it but since this has caused arguments I am stating for the record my personal wishes for after my own death (may it be a long time from now)
I am apathetheistic which means I am NOT a theistic or spiritual person nor am I antitheistic in any way…I am totally neutral, I don’t know, I don’t care and I don’t care what anyone else believes that they know about god, gods, spiritual issues or any of it.
As such I am not concerned with what happens after I die other than making sure there are no debates. So here is what I want/believe: whatever is Me will not be with my body, as such please cremate the remains. As of that moment they are just so much carbon and if you want a pinch of T’Rina dust talk to Alex cause I won’t care. My family can take the ashes into the hills and let fly…to cancel any debates I am saying go as close to Deer Point by Bogus and let fly….check wind direction first.
Then I would like my friends and family to have a party, pot luck and remember the good times. And after I want my friends to get together and raise a glass of their choice to my memory and say “she was an alright broad” or sentiments of that like…play lots of music and laugh a lot.
No markers and as fairview my stuff thar is up to Alex to give away or dispose of as he chooses.
Ok so that is out of the way. I will be doing this up all legal and legit and getting it signed and sealed and all that bullshit but the more people who know the better.
I “painted” my toenails in the pic with gel pen..lol
I was asked if I thought weight loss surgery was worth the problems some people have (of which I have had amazingly few) and if I would do it again.
Short answer: yes and yes
Longer answer: I am less then a week away from having a cortisone shot to relieve the pain in my knees and the last shot is pretty well gone and yes i hurt, sometimes enough to take my breath away. But you know I do not even at the worst this week with certain extenuating circumstances making it hurt really bad feel nearly the pain I did on a regular basis during the summer of 09. That was when I was my biggest and the pain then had me taking up to 6 tramadol a day for days on end. I went through pain meds like candy and could barely walk back then, now at nearly half the size I was in July of 2009 I may still need my knees replaced and it may still hurt but I don’t take 6 tramadol a month when a reasonable amount of tylenol is enough to get me through the worst of it and most of the time I don’t even need that.
With the pain I have had at times this last week I realize that if I had been over 440 pounds over the last 3 years I most likely would be in a wheelchair most of the time now. I would not be as active as i am now, I would not be climbing stairs, going shopping on foot or able to just enjoy myself. I am far from physically as activer as I should be but trust me I am far more active at 43 than I was at 36 when my knees got really bad.
If I had kept on gaining by the time I was 50 I would have been 500 lbs and crippled beyond measure.
Yes there are foods I can’t eat without consequences and my muscles are weaker because I didn’t work them hard enough, yes I am now struggling for every pound I lose and I worry more about my weight then i did before and my clothes are hanging off of me and I can’t afford to replace them. Yes there are risks and I will take vitamins the rest of my life but I now have a chance at a good long life and it is worth it in so many ways.
Ends up I am Vitamin D deficient by a little bit and so I looked up info and it explains SOOOO MUCH
“What does vitamin D do?
Like all steroid hormones, (You can not make vitamins in your body but you can make hormones so D is actually a hormone you can get in food) vitamin D is involved in making hundreds of enzymes and proteins, which are crucial for preserving health and preventing disease. It has the ability to interact and affect more than 2,000 genes in the body. It enhances muscle strength and builds bone. It has anti-inflammatory effects and bolsters the immune system. It helps the action of insulin and has anti-cancer activity. This is why vitamin D deficiency has been linked with so many of the diseases of modern society. Because of its vast array of benefits, maintaining optimal levels of vitamin D is essential for your health.
What are the symptoms of vitamin D deficiency?
There is no clear pattern of symptoms. In fact many people remain asymptomatic despite low levels. But here are some of the more common symptoms:
* General muscle pain and weakness
* Muscle cramps
* Joint pain
* Weight gain (well fighting to lose)
High blood pressure
* Restless sleep
* Poor concentration
Constipation and diarrhea
From Dr. Frank Lipman: “If you live north of 37 degrees latitude (approximately a line drawn horizontally connecting Norfolk, Va. to San Francisco, Calif.) sunlight is not sufficient to create vitamin D in your skin in the winter months, even if you are sitting in the sun in a bathing suit on a warm January day! The further you live from the equator, the longer exposure you need to the sun in order to generate vitamin D.” …. Supplements are a must and the FDA suggestions are woefully short, you should be taking in over 2000IU not 200-600 they suggest
And yes you can get Vitamin D from foods like eggs or milk or salmon…but then, you’d have to eat 150 egg yolks every day, 3 3/4 lbs of salmon or 20 cups of fortified milk.
Vitamin D3 is the active form of Vitamin D and should be the one we take (not D2) since it is the most safe and effective form for our bodies.
I am very allergic to msg and all of the thick canned mushroom soups I have looked at have lots of it and the natural ones are pricey and I don’t enjoy the taste of them. When I saw mushrooms on sale today for $0.98 a pound I decided to make my own sauce my own way.
crimini mushrooms nutritional information
I bought a pound of the fresh crimini mushrooms and sliced them into my 2.5qt crockpot
and in a large sauce pan I added 1/3 a stick of butter and thinnly sliced up 2 medium onions, 1 sweet and 1 yellow though you could easily do all one or the other and adjust the amount of onion to taste. I added a teaspoon of diced garlic, about 4 medium cloves and sauteed them for 10 mins on med
I then added a 12oz can of no msg chicken broth and two cans of water along with some ‘Better than bullion’ veggie base
I simmered the broth and onions for 10 mins on Med high and then poured the hot mixture over the mushrooms
I then cooked it in the crockpot for 90 minutes on low.
To this I added 2/3 cup Ricotta cheese and 2.5 oz of cream cheese (you cab use low fat versions) and allowed it to melt into the mushrooms.
I then used a 12 oz can of regular condensed milk and 4 oz oz cold water to liquify 4 tablespoons of cornstarch.
I thickened the cornstarch mix in a small sauce pan over Med heat and then added a cup of the hot broth and stirred it smooth. This I added to the mushrooms and then since cheese is one of my major sources of protein I added 2/3 of a cup of cheddar jack shredded cheese to it.
The soup came out amazing and I was able to store 2 qts of it and still have about a cup to eat.
Tomorrow I am buying 2 pounds of the mushrooms and making a thicker sauce by reducing the broth from 32 oz to 24 and doubling the ricotta and the cornstarch. I will try to add photos of the sauce then.
So I have come to the conclusion that I need to divide myj resolutions up by catagory so that I do say 5-10 for each blog. I have my WLS blog, my art blog and my daily life blog, all of which I have been neglecting.
So for my WLS resolutions I have the following:
#1 I will realize that how I treat myself now will define how I need to be treated (medically and physically) in the future. If I don’t take care of myself Alex will be taking care of me way too much and way too soon.
#2 I will eat right…it sounds so simple but really it isn’t, I will get my daily protein in at over 100grams, I will keep my daily carbs including those from milk down below 70grams and I will attempt to eat healthy fats and more vegetables. I realize that by not doing this I am sabotaging all the work I and my Dr.s have put into my duodenal switch.
#3 I will exercise more even if it is just walking farther and longer every week and I will accept that everytime I slack off, everytine I use a motorcart when I don’t have to I am only hurting myself and I need to be stronger for my knee surgery.
#4 I will continue to take my vitamins and suppliments and keep up with my iron better.
#5 I will try to lose down to 210 and stay there or below by the end of the year. Only if I can do that and strenghten my muscles will I schedule my knee replacement
#6 I will get off of sweets even if it means fighting my own addictive nature tooth and nail…this is my body and I Will be in control of what I put in it. To do this I will keep as few goodies in the house as possible and not buy them when out and about. If I slip is will start over immediately and not “soon”
#7 I will try to blog more and at least once a month post a recipe here as well as do more art journaling on WLS topics.
Well 7 will have to do for now…all such basic stuff and it all comes down to “I will stay in compliance”
Well not the entire list of at least 10 resolutions I like to do each year but I thought I would well … think on them out loud here so to speak.
There are so many things I have slacked on especially in the last 4 months that I have to get my act together or risk really failing.
Not just failing to reach the final goal (185 with my knees replaced and strong enough to recover well and keep the weight off and build muscle) but of reaching the Next goal (reaching 230 -my halfway gone minus 1 pound mark- and staying there or below for over a month before I get my wedding ring resized)
There are other goals like getting to 200 pounds by August 2012 and scheduling my knee surgery for after that…getting strong enough to recover from that surgery and then being back on my feet and mostly recovered by my 44th birthday in Dec 2012.
The thing is right now I KNOW that I am not towing the line where my health and weightloss success is concerned and I need to go back to basics and stay there.
I have felt really crappy since just before Halloween and in taking stock of things I realize I just how badly I have slacked on taking care of myself and that (especially since surgery) I need to really make an effort to stay healthy physically because it effects everything most of all my mental state.
I listed a lot of what I have to give up and it just feels overwhelming at times to 1. realize how badly I am slacking and 2. realize how much I need to change and give up… it is weird but I feel sad to realize there are somethings I will never be able to take for granted or do without repercussions as long as I live if I want to feel decent or even just survive.
I am giving up drinking booze because I just end up sleepy and it takes so little to make me wasted and I never know from time to time if I will get a nice happy buzz for a while then get tired or just go strait to the tired part. I don’t drink a lot but when I do drink I tend to end up wanting to do it again the next day even knowing it wont help. I reserve the right to have a rare single drink once in a while but no more buying bottles of cheap wine that I just pour out half of upon waking up after drinking a big glass of it and feeling like crap the next day and snapping people’s heads off.
I suffer from SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, really bad and due to being so tired all the time in the winter I tend to drink a LOT of coffee. Recently I found that it is a serotonin uptake inhibitor, it actually makes SAD worse and is the reason that the sleep I get is so worthless. So I also need to reduce my caffeine intake to no more than one 10 oz cup of the real stuff a day..for me this means either one STöKs coffee shot in my protein drink OR a large half caffeinated half decaf coffee at Dawson’s but not all that plus a couple more big glasses of coffee a day as I have been doing recently and no more quad-shot lattes. I know from experience I can not go cold turkey from this much caffeine so I am giving myself one week to reduce my intake.
Simple Carbs (basic sugars and starches) and my body hate each other… it is a sad fact that I love a lot of them and I have a serious addiction issue with sugars. My body does not treat carbs like just fuel but as a drug and so I not only crave them the more I eat them but I end up feeling hung over and emotional after eating too many of them. As with coffee I am giving myself until the first of January to be in control of my intake but unlike caffeine I am going to try to cut simple sugars out of my diet almost totally.
This includes baked goods (sad face) all bread, pasta, white potatoes and rice (no loss I don’t really care about them) and candy yes including chocolate at least more than a bite of 88% dark once in a while (sob)
I also need to exercise more, this winter even with the cortisone shots my knees have been hurting and I can honestly say I am feeling weaker in my legs than ever and if I do want my knee replacement sometime after the summer I need to start building up my strenght.
I am tired of feeling sick and being worried about how my body will react with gas and I am tired of feeling bad that I am not doing more to fix this when I know I need to so now is as good a time as any to make changes.