Tag Archives: Accountability

ARGGGG what is wrong with my resolve lately?

Today I blew it food wise, I have eaten way too many sweets!  I mean LOTS AND LOTS of sweet, this problem has been building over the last 10 days-2 weeks or so when my stress level got so high I was having anxiety attacks and eating to sooth myself but things are getting better and so I really have no excuse for today’s disaster.

It started out with me eating NERDS candies, those itty bitty little boxes, an oz or so at a time once or twice a day, and has gotten worse with me eating chocolate and now today baked goods…. yeah you read right, not a single baked good but GOODS.  I had part of a brownie, most of a Nutella croissant and about half of an almond paste croissant AND a bite of zucchini bread… WTF???????  What did I think I was doing and why the hell did I then follow it up with some Tolberone?  I also have not been eating enough protein at all for the last 2 weeks and today the only protein I have had by 11 pm is a protein shake of maybe 25 grams (I am suppose to get 80 to 100 a day in with my DS the way it is)

I feel like I have hit rock bottom snack wise today and I feel like I have no control.  I HAVE to pull my head out ad get my act together, the worse part is I have just started to lose weight again after being in a pound stall and losing inches instead for 2 1/2 months.  The worse part is while i am sure I will be sick later it is not happening fast enough to slow me down.  There are times I wish I dumped like RNYers.

The stress is still there, my income has been cut nearly in half with no real way to increase it at this time, I only found out yesterday my insurance will stay intact and I am worried silly about the weather for our handfasting on the 30th of April, WTH was I thinking?????  April is WET but this year is one of the coldest and wettest in decades in Boise.

I am also having a major arthritis flair up and I am afraid this is just how my knee is going to be til I lose enough to get the knee replacement so what do I do???  EAT JUNK, and lots of it.

I think I need to detox big time so for the next few days I am not eating any simple carbs at all and then a small amount of veggies.  I will drink as much as I can stand and try to clean out my system, maybe it will also help my mood and my anxiety to not have so much crap in my system anymore.  I want to feel good for the handfasting.  Hell I just want to feel good.




Filed under Accountability, goals, Motivation, My Thoughts on WLS and Life, random daily stuff