Tag Archives: clothing

SIGH..I dont miss my old body but I sure do miss my old clothes

Tonight I went through my remaining clothes to find out what still fit (even if it is baggy but not falling off) and to find out what could be altered (shirts into dresses and material from dresses and skirts to be used in other outfits) and sorted out my sweaters into a drawer…without the stuff to be taken apart and sewn into about 6 items I now have 2 drawers of clothes (one is all sweaters) and two small drawers of under and night things as well as half a dozen items in my closet, mostly all second hand black dress shirts and my wedding dress.

As I sorted stuff I loaded up an entire bin with all my heavy velvet dresses that have been as altered as they can be and stuck it in the back of my nearly empty closet so that I can make a quilt out of the material someday.
I threw away the last of my thin velvety dresses (I use to have 7 of them, now the last two were not even worth saving the material as they were 15 yrs old and I hated doing it but they had been altered within an inch of their lives) and gathered up the few really big things I have still worth donating in that they have not been altered to death and boxed them up. I have already donated or given bags upon bags of clothing to charity and friends so there is only one liquor box full of stuff

I am thrilled that I have lost so much and that I wear a size Lg-2x instead of a 4-6X but I had been a 4-5X for over 12 years (a few 6X items fit in the last year before surgery) and I had spent a lot of that time accumulating clothes.  3 years ago I had an entire walk in closet full to over flowing with clothing including some great Gothic gowns and outfits and a 6 drawer dresser packed to the brim with clothing and a large suitcase full of seasonal stuff.
When Alex moved in I had started to lose weight and already had given a 13 gallon garbage bag of clothing away and put some of my stuff away to make room for his clothing, it was hard to find a handful of hangers for his few hanging items and yet now the floor of the closet is full of empty hangers and he has almost as many hanging clothes as do.
I am just slightly frustrated, I am still large enough (mostly 1-2X) that finding decent used clothing is pretty hard and even new things are often not in my size, the really large stuff like JMS sells out of 1-2X pretty fast and this year most of it sucks and the smaller things only go to 1x  lot of the time and are also no where near my style.  I am Goth and I love dark rich colors, black and grey and nice sensuous materials.  I used to wear full length skirts because I had no choice and now if they re not super light weight I cant stand them, my style has changed to what I always wanted it to be but now I dont have money or access to the clothing I want.

Oh well I could be bitching because nothing fits me at a size 7X so I will stop whining and start figuring out how to make the most of what I have.


1 Comment

Filed under Altering Clothing, Clothes, Fashion After WLS, My Thoughts on WLS and Life, Plus-Size Clothing, random daily stuff, Random Thoughts, the past

I know I should not let get me down….

I have been stalled between 249.8 and 256.6 for months, up and down and finally I am at 245 with no sign of it being a fluke or a one time thing and so my hubby decided I should celebrate with a little shopping.  Usually I spend about $70 on Halloween stuff and this year the only thing I need is a cheap pair of 50s style cats eye sunglasses and I am set (going as a beatnik) I am also making his costume and I am not buying decorations this year so we agreed I could have half the halloween money to hit ROSS with… well actually Walmart, Ross and Target, I never made it to the thrift store I had planned on.
I got 2 hats, a pair of slip on Isotoner ballet slippers I wear as shoes and 1 shirt (also mascara) and I got horribly discouraged….
I am a Goth with very unusual tastes and I like dark colors with a burst or jewel tones as accents and for the first time I can remember I actually like many of the clothes that are in style (black and grey abound, classic lines, loose flowy tops over leggings and sweater dresses ) but even after losing 220 pounds I can barely find any of the stuff I like in my size and when I do it doesn’t look good on me. I can wear some stuff in women’s 2x (mens/unisex 1x t-shirts) but I hate tight fitting stuff so I often look at 3X and above.  Ross only carries up to 3X in a rare few items and the things Walmart carries above 2X are pretty awful not to mention over priced right now.
Here is the thing, I LOVE sweater dresses, I have one dark grey one I adore and i was hoping to get another but I could not find one that looked good on me, my butt has always been a shelf and now it is a lumpy, lopsided shelf even in support garments and I will have big hips even if I was underweight.  The dresses look like sausage casings and this depressed the hell out of me.
The realization that even if I lose another 80 pounds I won’t look good in most sweater dresses or a lot of the clothing i like is honestly a tad depressing.  I have spent decades wearing long flowing skirts and I am sick of them mostly, I like my leggings and long tops but all of the long nightshirts turned dresses need taking in since they start at a loose 4X and go to 6X… i want some soft over sized but structured sweaters but right now the only ones I can find that would fit loose are mens and they are not what I am looking for.
Shopping for clothing with a limited income and an “oddly” shaped large figure is a quick way to kill the excitement of breaking a stall weight wise. I have finally started to develop a style not based on the sheer necessity of being able to find anything that fits and is easy and cheap to make and now I feel as if I will never look good in the clothing I would prefer.

I know I should not let this get to me but I see these amazing clothes on the street and for the first time I want what other people are wearing (adapted to my darker tastes) and I realize most of it will Never look good on me.

In case you wonder this is what I like fashion wise http://pinterest.com/trinaxxl/fashion-i-want-for-my-style/


Filed under Clothes, Fashion After WLS, Plus-Size Clothing, random daily stuff

About clothes…

I love clothing, I love silky, velvety, satiny, soft material and I have had a weird relationship with clothing for YEARS.

Basically when I was young I did not know how to sew and I knew what I wanted but I could not find it to save my soul, we were broke (we still are) and the few catalogs for big women had HORRIBLE clothing made for matronly women, not young women who love dark colors and nice material.  I wore some damn ugly clothes because even when I could sew at first we didn’t have access to decent material, I did not trust my skills and I thought since I was so big I did not deserve anything but huge shirts and boring floor length skirts with no shape or style (I still wear long skirts but they are not boring anymore)

In my late 20s I started to find the Size Acceptance Movement via the now sadly defunct Radiance Magazine and learned the truly bizarre concept that regardless of my weight I deserved to be happy, healthy and to treat myself well (this is not to be confused with the FAT Acceptance movement)

My world view changed and I started looking at the catalogs again and saw that there were a few random items that were decent and that I could stand and we began to stock up when they went on sale.  An example of this was crushed velvet knee length dresses with princess necklines that we bought in every color and when they went on clearance we later bought doubles in green, black and purple.  I found that I could also find decent sales at the Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug Plus in the mall and I went into debt to buy more clothing, some I have held on to for over 15 years.  It didn’t hurt clothing wise anyway that I have been over 400 pounds since I was 29 and that I had bought the dresses a few years earlier big since I did not know my exact size and they ran large.

the same style of dress (the black on was taken in), I wras about 440 in the fist pic and 315 in the second

I began to make tank dresses in silky material and then learned to put on sleeves often out of contrasting or sheer material, I made evening gowns out of all kinds of material and once I turned an artistic eye towards clothing I began to collect material and even find it in odd places.  I hunted through the $1 -$3 a yard clearance bolts at Joann’s and Walmart, I stocked up, I checked every clearance of window treatments I could find and often found amazing window panels/scarfs big enough to make dresses out of.  I now have 5 large rubber totes and some space bags full of material, some for decorating and some for making clothing.

Just a couple of the old dress up clothes I made

I have made costumes, dresses and altered other items such as shirts into dresses over the years.  The year before I started to lose weight (08-09) I found out that Walmart had started to carry shirts up to 6x and then I discovered if I kept checking those same shirts would go on sale for as low as $3.  I went insane.  I had maybe a 10 new tops that were 5x and 6x out of the fall and winter collections…I hate summer and spring fashion colors… I even had some things I would never have worn before like dark rose pink.

In late 09 I started losing serious weight on my way to getting my weight loss surgery and I found a HUGE fall clearance where most things were $3 and with help from my grandmother we spent $65 of 14 shirts in sizes from 2x to 5x, hoping I would fit them (I only have one of those shirts I can’t wear by now) and since they were fall fashion the colors were great.

At one point I had at least 3 BIG black garbage bags full of clothes plus some.  And here is the thing, I never gave anything up, I had clothing I wore all the time but I was careful with them and kept them in great shape, I had stuff I wore only a few times, and a few sweaters I never wore cause they were not what we wanted but I still kept.  I wasn’t being greedy, I just remembered so well those days when I was stuck wearing tie-dyed t-shirts (even though I hated them after a very short while) because the only shirts we could find large enough were long men’s white undershirts and I have never been good with white.

Since I have lost nearly 200 pounds from my size 5-6x days I had to take some of the clothing in, my velvet dresses, a few of my tops and all of my homemade leggings which I was lucky enough a few months ago to find replacements for at Walmart when they clearanced jersey leggings and I got about 12 pairs in sizes 2 to 4x (right now I can wear the 3-4x ones)… you guested it $3.

My wedding dress that had to be altered to fit me by taking in the sides and adding a sash

And then as my mom watched me put away laundry in my over stuffed closet one day she mentioned that I had 2 bins of winter clothes at her house and said one of her favorite lines “you have more clothes than anyone I know, you have more clothes right now then I have had in my life.”  I had started to lose weight and at that time had lost maybe 45 pounds (this was before my surgery in April of ’10) and she asked if I had any dresses I could donate to a lady who lived in her nursing home who had mild dementia and who was around 425 pounds and whose family never brought her anything decent or even in good shape to wear (scary thing was she had had WLS but had the mental capacity of a child when it came to food and would at all day if she could)

I thought about it and realized I had clothing I had not worn in a long time and that I knew what it was like to have nothing good to wear so we began to dig through my closets and then my mom brought over the winter clothes and we went through them.  I got rid of the baby blue and pale pink eyelash sweaters that had been a “let us choose” sales item, I gave away a embroidered brown hippy dress someone gave me, I gave away the silver gray and bright blue versions of my favorite crushed velvet dresses because I disliked the colors and we had bought one of each. and even some old bras for her.

That was over a year ago and my mom tells me to this day how the lady will pull out her “favorite clothes” (all of them) and put them all on her bed so she can look at them and choose something to wear.  This still makes me very happy.  So when I shrunk out of a lot more of my tops and I had a friend who was very large and mentioned she wished she had more t-shirts and underwear I gathered everything I had that was either too big, that had never fit right to begin with or was really not my style/color, stuff i had gotten on impulse when they were $3 at walmart or collected over the years.  And she also loved them.

Let me tell you sharing is addictive and when I got under 300 pounds I realized one of my other friends who unlike me doesn’t have access to sewing stuff or doesn’t have family who can help her get clothing was wearing some pretty worn out stuff so I gave her a box of shirts that were either too big for me, getting a tiny bit worn (pilling a bit) or tank tops.  Mind you even though I had worn tank tops for so long I thought nothing of wearing them (even at my top weight), I have lost so much now I can’t stand the way my arms look in them and if I can’t wear a cover up over them I dont wear them.

I kept quite a bit of tops but as the weather has gotten warmer I have come to realize that what I have the most of is my velvets that will soon be too big to take in anymore (I have plans for the material) and a bunch of light weight sweaters I love but can’t wear in the desert heat.  I also have a lot of VERY long skirts I was wearing over 180 pounds ago that I have taken in at the waist so that they are now way too long and way too full for me and are now very warm over fitted jersey leggings when I am use to wearing loose tricot (think nightgown material) leggings.  I love my skirts but they need to be really taken in, shortened and have panels of material removed from the back or sides.

one of the skirts I made (110 pounds ago) it has been taken in but needs a lot of altering

I also have realized that half of the light to medium weight shirts I still have are too big for me but not long enough to cover my belly apron so can’t be worn right now without a skirt.

I dont feel like taking in all my skirts when I will just have to do it again when I lose another hopefully 80 to 100 pounds (a girl can hope) and I absolutely can not afford to buy new clothes at this time unless they are foundation garments (support under garments and bras)  I also dont want to make a ton of clothing from scratch that I will have to alter later.

So what am I to do?

Well first off I am putting aside all of my lovely soft light weight sweaters in the hopes that come next fall I can take them in for at least one more winter.  I am going through my skirts and getting out and storing the ones that are now way too long (some were made too long to begin with and are now WAY too long) also the ones made of heavier material and as I store them I will note what needs to be done to them so I can start altering them come early fall.  I am storing my sweet old workhorses of velvet dresses in the hope that I will someday be able to make something with the material, remember some of them are 15 years old and most of them are in great shape still and I’ve worn them every fall, winter and spring since I got them.  The ones that are starting to show too much wear or are getting a bit thin I am using the material for throw pillows (they all deserve one last incarnation) and the others will be made into skirts and possibly Gothic evening dresses (I have done this before)

Finally I will sort through my jersey shirts and pick out about half of them and turn them into Babydoll dresses using this tutorial (I have done this before and made one today and this tutorial for a kids babydoll t-shirt dress but it was the only tutorial for this style I could find… I will do my own tutorial when I upcycle the next top)

Here is the one I made today to try out my ideas and figure out lengths, like I will make the top shorter as well as the shirt (about 3-4 inches total) and the sleeves longer. I will also take in the waist more possibly with the use of thin elastic on the skirt to keep it fuller and more evenly spaced.

my UpCycled Jersey shirt to baby doll dress, and the changes I will make on the next one


Filed under Altering Clothing, Fashion After WLS, goals, My Thoughts on WLS and Life, Plus-Size Clothing, random daily stuff