Tag Archives: Easy Way out?

Sometimes I feel as if I DID take the easy way ouy

I have been lucky, I have not faced that “easy way out” thing people talk about, people telling them their weight loss doesn’t count because of the surgery.  Iif anything I feel guilty at times when people tell me how amazing I have done and how impressed they are and worse how they admire me.
I know it isn’t the easy way out, I know I eat less and make better choices now and I try to be more physical these days compared to when I was so big.  But to be honest I still feel like I did cheat at times at least compared to when I was sucking so bad at losing weight…
People seem to think I was unsuccessfully dieting for decades, that I fought getting that big tooth and nail and now I somehow found amazing strength of will out of no where.
The fact is I hated diets and seldom went on them until I tried South beach at 463 pounds out of desperation to get my surgery.  I had only been on a handful of diets ever and they were so bad and I now see, unhealthy, that I would lose 20 pounds then struggle forever and fail. Actually even south beach was easy compared to that… for the first time in my life with SB I managed to lose more than 50 pounds and keep if off a little bit.
There are times I feel like I am coasting through this, I do what I am told (mostly) and I lose weight still, but then I realized I had stalled/slowed down, that lost inches yes but not enough to justify only losing 40 pounds from 10 months to 16 months out and that it is my fault.  the sad thing is I failed by not eating enough because I now mostly only eat when I am hungry and didn’t count my protein.
So now I am stuck yo-yoing from 249 to 255 and going insane and it makes me realize that now it is time to step up my game and get more and more serious as my weight loss is so damn slow compared to what I want.  It is time to put my diet on a stricter diet and stop coasting along.  It is also time to show some of that determination, strength and dedication my friends seem to think that I have.

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Filed under Accountability, changing how I think, Motivation, My Thoughts on WLS and Life, WLS

In response to those who say that WLS is the easy way out

15 months ago I had Weight Loss Surgery, after a year of struggling to qualify I had laparoscopic Duodenal Switch and I have lost over 150 pounds after surgery (to go with the 52 before) and there are people who claim that I “took the easy way out” getting my insides rearranged….

Here is the thing though, this is not easy, and unlike some people I have had no complications. So far my WLS journey has been pretty easy compared to others but it has not been what I would call EASY overall.

What was EASY was to get to 463, it was easy to give up, and it was easy to gain weight again after each diet I was on and it was REALLY easy to gain more each time. It was easy to ignore what I ate, it was easy to not take care of myself because I had given up.  It was also not easy to give up having a lot of fat admiring men compliment me daily and a lot of Fat acceptance people accuse me of being a traitor,  Mind you it had been easy to be a supersize paysite model and make a decent living off of it and it WAS NOT easy to give that up for my health … Nor was it easy to KNOW that my body will look worse in my mind after losing 300 pounds then it did at 463.

It was easy to get so big I got arthritis so bad that I no longer have cartilage in my knees at all and it was hard to decide to have an extreme surgery so someday I could have another even more difficult surgery to replace my knees so I can exercise more.

Every day I have to now think of all the food I put in my mouth, I have to accept that those 3 small bites of ice cream I had as a treat may very well make me ill but I also have to accept that they are NOT the 30 huge bites I would of had in the past without even thinking.

For me maybe that is the hardest aspect of my WLS… having to think about what I eat, having to care about my health, having to be accountable to myself because for years I deadened that need to think about my health behind food.. it didn’t make sense but neither did getting so big my health was in serious jeopardy and my joints and bones began to deteriorate under my own weight.

 

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Filed under Accountability, changing how I think, My Thoughts on WLS and Life